Funk

I have been in such a funk lately and I am not really sure why. It is just a kind of lingering sadness that I can't seem to shake. I know I let myself get hurt by thinking something was supposed to be one way and then it wasn't. The funny thing is I really didn't want it to be that way, but I had been told it would be so I just got used to the idea of thinking that. Then I find out in what I think is not the best way that it wasn't going to be after all. Part of me is happy, because really I didn't want that anyway.... But part of me is wondering what was wrong with me to make it turn out that way - did it have anything to do with me? Or hey, how about a heads up before it goes public?? Whatever though... in the end it really is what I prefer... and I would prefer less than what is right now. I got my feelings hurt either way though.
As a result I think I have started pulling back from things - the clinician in me is saying that is just stupid. One thing that I have been doing is staying away from social media type sites more. Honestly I would check them all the time through out the day. It was ridiculous, did i need to get on Facebook, twitter, and SS again and again... ugh! So to prove I could do it I stayed off Facebook and SS for a week (impressive for me). Then I started checking on FB and Twitter once a day... but really not posting. I got back on SS after a week because I needed to send some PMs, but then I haven't been back so far this week. I think it is good for me right now. I will check in some, but keep my lurker status.
But still... can't break out of this funk. I really would love for my house in MI to sell!! I am tired of living with my parents - really tired. My mom decided to put my clean clothes away the other day (apparently sitting on my dresser for a day was not okay with her, even though i am staying in the basement out of sight). It isn't good enough how i have my clothes organized in my dresser. I tried to find socks this morning and took forever. I looked for a shirt tonight and had to go through all the drawers to find it when I knew where it should have been. Petty, but drives me bonkers!!
So that is what is going on in my world lately. If you read this whole post thanks for listening to me vent a little!!